What Makes Nice Guys Finish Last

“Nice Guys Finish Last” is something that might bring up a debate but for many to shy men this is all too real.


Many shy men tend to use the line “I’ll always be nice no matter what”. Regardless of what the situation is they tend to be easily forgiving of others.


We NICE guys will remember incidents where we forgive others (not always in a good light) and those incidents just pile up more and more over time.


And after reflecting “Why are they so nice even after being ‘pushed’ around?” I realized it came down to one factor.


That behavior comes from FEAR.


And here’s what really makes nice guys finish last…


In order to hold on to whatever approval is left of us we get NICER when others look down on us or treat us wrong.


(When I didn’t have a clue that’s what I used to do.)


This strategy is dangerously wrong and usually leaves you feeling like no one gives a shit about you. People will generally keep you from getting their approval when they see you working so hard to get it. They do this so you keep going the extra mile for whatever is left. This leaves you feeling exhausted from your efforts and never knowing what you did wrong.


Doing the exact opposite is the solution. When others do things to you that you don’t like make sure to voice out or do something. To make yourself more valuable you have to make YOUR attention and approval more scarce.


When others tread on your personal time, property and your self-respect don’t tolerate it.


Don’t lose composure when you do make a stand though. If someone only keeps in touch over the phone or internet and always flakes when you’re supposed to meet. Stop talking to them, stop replying to their text messages, just cut them away. Usually when things aren’t going well for them and they think of you as their last resort months later they’ll ask why you guys lost in touch.


Just say along the lines of “All those times you flaked spoke a lot louder than you sitting behind the computer screen typing ‘yeah we haven’t seen each other in a while.’ So I left it at that”.


You’d say it different if it’s male or female. Flakiness is usually common with women.


If you want to learn more about why nice guys finish last and how OTHERS think about you to get an advantage in social interactions then read more articles at surfsocialwaves.com/blog


Hope this help!


Your friend,


Chris C.