Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last

The statement “Nice Guys Finish Last” might ring true for a lot of shy men.


An unfortunate thing I’ve seen with many shy men is “I’ll always be nice no matter what”. Despite what the situation is they easily forgive others.


Incidents where we’re forgiving others pile up more and more and we remember it in a bad light.


It came down to one factor after thinking “Why are they so nice even after being ‘pushed’ around?”


It comes from fear.


Nice guys finish last because from the fear comes the following reactions…


When others are disapproving of us we feel the need to be even NICER just so we don’t lose whatever is left of their approval.


(That was me once upon a time.)


This is dangerously wrong and the results are quite the opposite. They can see you’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to acceptance and approval and they’ll keep as much of it away as possible. They do this so you keep going the extra mile for whatever is left. This leaves you tired, exhausted and wondering why your efforts seldom get you lasting results.


Doing the exact opposite is the solution. When others do something towards you that you don’t like make sure to show your displeasure towards it. Make YOUR approval and attention more scarce and thus making it more valuable.


When it comes to treading over your personal time, property and your self-respect have less tolerance over others.


Don’t lose composure when you do make a stand though. If someone always flakes on you when you’re supposed to meet and they only bother to keep in touch over the internet or the phone. Just cut them away, stop talking to them, stop replying to their text messages. Usually when things aren’t going well for them and they think of you as their last resort months later they’ll ask why you guys lost in touch.


Just say along the lines of “All those times you flaked spoke a lot louder than you sitting behind the computer screen typing ‘yeah we haven’t seen each other in a while.’ So I left it at that”.


You’d carry the vibe differently if it’s a guy or a girl. Flakiness is usually common with women.


If you want to learn more about why nice guys finish last and how OTHERS think about you to get an advantage in social interactions then read more articles at surfsocialwaves.com/blog


Talk to you again!


Your friend,


Chris C.